We have to be OK okay with people not being OK okay with what we are OK with . . . and that’s tough. – Seth A. Cain
A buddy of mine recently tweeted this quote from me that I didn’t realize was a quote from me.
Hearing someone else say what I had already said made a bigger impact on me than when it first came out of my mouth.
So very easy to say and yet so difficult to actually do.
However, this is the way things progress.
This is the way life, people, ideas, religions and faiths move forward.
We come to a place where we are ready to grow, move, adapt or change.
We come to a place where we have to shed our skin.
We come to a place where we have to decide if the tribe we’re in is really our tribe.
Then we have to decide what to do about. Change is tough. Transition it difficult.
I believe it was Tony Robbins who’s credited with saying … ‘Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.’
Once we make that decision to step out or move forward or progress we have to be willing to understand and accept that not everyone else is.
Many people are comfortable where they are. Many are not, but are afraid to do something about it. In either case, the end result is apathy and atrophy toward progress.
But for those of you who are able to make a leap from point A to point B in your journey, making the leap isn’t the most difficult part. Because once you get to point B you still have to be able to acknowledge, allow, and accept the people who are still at point A.
The problem, of course, is that most of the people at point A won’t like the fact that you’ve moved to point B because as far as they are concerned it’s called point A for a reason. There is no need to move beyond it.
The result is that they will not be OK with where you’ve moved to. The difficulty is that their “not OK-ness” is usually expressed in rude, hurtful, or otherwise awkward, distancing and unflattering behavior.
Which then of course means that if you’re claiming to have come to a new understanding, a higher plane of living and thinking and being, that you must then put your money where your mouth is and actually put this new way of thinking into being.
It’s really tough.
It takes practice.
The best analogy I’ve come up with so far is that it’s like my kids.
I love my kids for who that are and where they are at in their lives and in their understanding of life.
I don’t get upset because my kids have a limited understanding and view of the world.
I don’t get upset because my kids don’t immediately see things my way.
I don’t get upset because my kids aren’t getting it as fast as I want them to.
I try to step into their understanding and lovingly do my best to point them to the next step of their development along their journey.
So it is with people, adults, grown-ups. We’re all just a bunch of kids who’s bodies have gotten older. We’ve figured some stuff out along the way, but no one can know everything and there’s a lot of room to learn and grow.
When it comes to helping people to progress in their understanding of faith and God and the world, the high road, the mature thing, the forward way of thinking is, for me to be OK with people not being OK with what I’m OK with . . . That’s tough and often it comes at a price.
This is the way of Jesus.
This is the way of the New Testament.
Jesus was continually trying to help people to step into a new freedom and was eventually killed for it.
Paul talks about not causing other people to stumble.
I’ve heard it said that, “We can’t allow our enlightenment to stand in the way of the enlightenment of others.”
I have to be OK with people not being OK with what I’m OK with …. and that’s tough.
I’m trying and, I hope you are as well.
As much as I want people to experience what I believe is sincerely a better way to think and be in the world, as much as I want people to experience the freedom that I’ve found, as much as I want people to get it.
I have to acknowledge that I’m not the end all be all, that I don’t have all the answers, that I’m not 100 percent right 100 percent of the time, and that no matter what I say or do some people like where they are.
My goal should be to love them where they are the very same way I hope someone is loving me where I am.
Here’s a thought!
What if we begin to love each other deep enough that love could be the catalyst for progress.